July 13th Friday 2012

End of working week. Here goes the list:-

1. Had a tiring heavy morning sickness week cum nauseousness cum giddiness which aint fun at all

2. Had a moment of sadness with him because he lied about an ornament which came from his wedding. I still am feeling down about it. But am too weak to think

3. Skipped school today because I could not get out of bed. Yeap, it was that bad. I feel bad missing school and wasting one day's fees.

4. Had a sudden wave of insecurity again. Epilepsy can pass down to babies, I feel weird having this baby with no guarantee from him of whats ahead, I hate to feel like Im the hidden underground one. Cant see any of his friends, and I feel awful.

5. I decided to sell some of the bags I have. He has not closed his sales yet, and I know we are going to be tight. He does not talk about it. I dont know what to expect. I do feel some sadness parting with these bags, but I guess the money is important at this point.

6. I tabulated my expenses, and with the sudden baby thing, I am in for a deficit. Pulling my hair out thinking about it.

7. Learnt about foundation application in school this week. Putting the proper bridal foundation. Had a great time. Wished I was not unwell, I could have absorbed better.

8. Supposed to meet Caris today, but was too sick to get out of bed. Sit makes me giddy, lying down makes me nauseous. I am tearing my hair out trying survive the next 5-6 weeks.

9. Checked the web today, and found out that baby will have developed eyelids on week 7. And by my bday, baby will be week 17. Which is little more than 4 months. Though he wanted to wait for the divorce papers to be submitted before we announced, I am now hoping we can break the news earlier just to respect my parents and not give them a shock with the growing tummy.

10. Seeing grandma later at mum's place. Will really like her to be the first to know she has a great grand child soon. She be so happy. And all I have been waiting for is to give her this present. Wished she is well enough to take care for me, but I know she has no longer the same energy she had before the operation.

11. Doc gave me a stabilizer jab for the foetus because of the spotting. Asked to be slow while walking, and no exercise, lie down as much as possible. Scanning could not locate the foetus, and asked me to go back next week for another jab, and then following week to scan. I was worried sick and Bill costed a bomb.